Bad News Bears...

Well, we are on the home stretch. Daddy will be coming home on Friday night and I can't wait! Last week was incredibly difficult with lots of little emergencies and bad news all around!

On Sunday September 20th, we were getting ready to go with Aunti Sammi to buy her wedding dress when I noticed that Chance's food was infested with grain mites! Shawn was so sweet and bought me a big bag of dog food while Shawn was gone and little did we know, it was seriously contaminated! I put his cup that I scoop the food with on the counter and went to put it away, when I noticed that the grains of food were moving! It was SO DISGUSTING! I immediately bleached the counter tops and threw out all of my food on the counter. I called Bill and Pam and Bill came over and checked it out for me. He cleaned out his tub of food and threw the food away. He was actually the one who discovered that they were mites! It was so nice of him! He takes such good care of us!

So, I spent most of Monday, researching these critters and calling every doctor to see if they were harmful to Landon, myself or the baby in my belly. Thankfully, everyone said no. But, just to make sure, I made an appointment for Chance with the vet on Tuesday afternoon.

My dad came and helped me get Chance into the vet. He is a very strong dog and I didn't want to risk it myself! The vet reassured us, grain mites were just extra protein for Chance and would not hurt any of us humans. Phew! A sigh of relief! She said that he was too skinny, that you shouldn't be able to see the bones in his head, his spinal column or his ribs. He was just over 70 pounds and last we knew he was closer to 100 pounds! She was also worried about his teeth, said that they would need cleaning.

She checked his paw (he has been limping for over two months) and decided it would be best to do xrays to see what was going on. She said that it could be a tumor or a growth, she didn't know. I just assumed that a tumor would be benign... thinking everything would be fine the whole time. She said that if his xrays came back bad, then his teeth wouldn't matter at that point.

She comes back into the room and had an awful look on her face. My dad said, "It isn't good, is it?" She just looked down and shook her head. I started to bawl, uncontrollably. My baby Chancey has BONE CANCER. She said that bone cancer is excruciatingly painful and will spread to his lungs next. Oh my gosh, my poor baby is dying, is in pain and is suffering. I couldn't stand it, I couldn't believe it. Then, she showed me the xrays and over two inches of his right radius were gone, destroyed by the cancer. The surgeon and the oncologist came in to talk to us. The surgeon said that it was so brittle and destroyed, he was surprised it hadn't already broken.

If he were to break it, which is rretty likely, we will have to put him down right away. His teeth didn't matter. He had lost all of his weight from the cancer. She said that he will need more calories as the cancer takes so much. They told us to pick him up a cheeseburger from Burger King on the way home and just to make him comfortable. They did mention amputation, but I think it has already spread. Besides, I instantly started to realize all of the changes in Chance that I have tried to ignore: he stopped getting up to come to bed with me, he is more sluggish and he struggles even more on our hard wood floor. My dad was amazing, he cancelled all of his appointments, picked up dinner and spent the night talking with me! Sammi came over too, it was so nice to feel love at such a terrible time.

I am starting to come to terms with it, it has been a slow process. I am not ready to say goodbye, I am not ready to lose the best dog ever. He is so loving, sweet, loyal, calm, affectionate, obedient, smart and loving. He came into our lives almost seven years ago and at that time we didn't think we could survive all of his shedding. But now, he is a part of our family, a part of our lives and a part of our hearts.

I think about coming home and not having him there to greet us or Landon looking for him and I will have to tell him that Chancey went bye bye. Ugh... Landon always loves on Chances and cuddles with him. I had to pull him off of him the other morning to get him to Grammy's in time for work. A boy needs a dog and eventually, we will buy him a puppy. We were thinking about getting one this last summer and now I'm glad we didn't. I don't want Chance to feel overwhelmed or be in any more pain with a puppy jumping all over him.

At this point, I don't want any other dog, I just want Chance. I wish I could freeze him and keep him with us for the rest of our lives. I don't want to lose him. I just have to remember how much pain he is in and that this is God's plan. He will get to go to Heaven and this is an amazing thing.

On Thursday, September 24th, Landon jammed a jelly belly up his Right nostril. It was WAY up there. So, I had to leave work and get down to Kaiser to get it out. Poor thing, it was painful and scary. But, hopefully, he will never do it again!

Friday September 25th was Aunti Janelle's birthday and she and I went to Women of Faith at the Pepsi Center. We went all day on Saturday too. It was amazing to hear these women and the strength of their faith, to hear their stories and struggles and learn of the amazing things God had done in their lives. It was very refreshing and just what I needed after the awful week I had.